Embarrassments

When I was studying in my school, I used to be highly confident. I made so many extempore speeches and never stepped back .I would pitch in and volunteer for any activity that is not even in my bucket . All these went in vain as I joined my under graduation. People usually transform better as they move from school to a wider environment like college.

But it was completely a vice versa in my case. Since Anna University is a highly reputed institution with so many bundle of talents, that frightened me. I started stepping back and that is where my level of confidence started decreasing gradually.

I was afraid to open up and speak out my mind. I was restricting myself to my own sphere. People who know me from my college days would address me as a “dumb”. This progressed as years passed and there was one day where my professor asked me to talk about some topic from a subject. I stood in the middle of the class and I tried to start confidently. But I could not get through.

I was searching for words and I fumbled to the core. The entire classroom broke into laughter and kindled my way of speaking. I could not deliver what I really thought. This incident gave me a huge self realization and would probably be the most embarrassing moment of my life.

This prickled my mind a lot. As I completed my graduation and started my career, I was so much keen about one thing which is , “Speak Up for yourself”. I was not sure what I will pursue in my career but I don’t want to lose anything just by being dumb and make it a brand for me.

This does not mean I have evolved as a public speaker and I can preach people. I still fumble and be an introverted personality but career growth doesn’t rely on what u say but on what u portray and show to the world. I have drawn a line between professional and personal characteristics in such a way that it should not be barrier for my job front.

Embarrassments might kill but the take away matters. There is no need to prove ourselves to the ones that laughed as the success we make would give a slippershot answer to those ridiculous smiles.

The Suicidal Note

The sun was playing hide and seek with the clouds,

The smell of the sand was nourishing the nose,

The density of the wind was making a push,

The cold breeze was tapping the face and  the chirping noise of those kids were piercing the ears,

The salt waters were approaching to taste the soothness of her feet.

But she paid no attention for these events as she was fighting a conversation with herself for hours.

She could hear only the inner voice urging her to the tides.

She sat rigidily without moving aside.

Hours passed,the dusk had fallen,the stars started flickering and the moon was smiling at  her.

Having grabbed by the tides,she made a sudden move to get into the waves,continuing her mind talks.

She was marching against those splashing waters as she got drenched.

There was an irresistible battle happening with her breathe.

Besides these ,an unstoppable argument kept going within her as those lines of the note were rolling before her eyes.

Having winning the war between the mind and the heart,she plunged herself from those ferocious tides.

The waves landed her off the sea to the mud of the shores finally.

A near journey to death made her vivid and calm,moulded her strong.

She sobbed,yelled and cursed herself for this coward act.

And later,”When he had left her with no concerns,why should she give up her life for his sake?”,she rephrased the lines of THE SUICIDAL NOTE, thereby making it a self realized lesson!!!!!